Waiter: What would like to drink?

Patron 1: I’ll have scotch on the rocks, and also please bring me some ice water.

Patron 2: Can I see the wine list?

Waiter: Sorry. We only serve Coke and Pepsi.

Welcome to American democracy.

Like most Presidential elections, this year we’re offered two candidates that are more the same than different. And like Coke and Pepsi, the packaging differs a little, so does the tone of their advertisements, and one candidate even seems a little hipper, but the substance is the same and virtually indistinguishable.

That’s why I’m so unenthusiastic about voting this year, particularly for the Presidential race. McCain with his finger on the button scares me. So does the idea of Obama with mandate for change.

I’ll probably ending ended up pulling the lever for Bob Barr, even though not voting on principle is also very appealing. Sure Barr’s campaign hasn’t been able to capitalize on the enthusiasm of the Paul campaign, and some of the campaign’s decisions have been quite questionable. (I’m thinking specifically of the decision to stiff Ron Paul while Campaign Manager Russ Verney was writing in praise of George Bush’s post-9/11 “leadership” - you know, the “leadership” that got us into Iraq, failed to make any reform in social security, authorized torture, spied on Americans, etc.)

Still, for most Americans who don’t even realize that Bob Barr is on the ballot, a vote for him is just a generic libertarian protest vote, which is exactly what I want it to stand for. (Plus Barr smokes cigars, which makes him far more appealing than Obama who lies about quitting cigarettes or McCain who quit his two pack a day habit in the 70’s, then spent the 90’s trying to tax and regulate the cigarette companies out of business.)

And at the end of the night, I’ll settle in for a stiff drink or three (paired with a cigar) and see who the country picks in the latest Pepsi challenge.

Unlike the election I’ll have meaningful choices: Bourbon, Scotch (Single Malt or Blended), Rye, Kentucky Whiskey, Rum, Vodka, Gin, various liqueurs, port, and even tequila should the mood strike. And you won’t find me mixing anything with Coke or Pepsi.